Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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