they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize