Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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