woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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