I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
