I didn't shave. On purpose
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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