So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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