So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
