Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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