going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
