I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
