she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
How's work?
Spinning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
