I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
