Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
