you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
