? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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