We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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