i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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