Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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