im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
