Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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