I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
