thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
