Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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