He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
