I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
