walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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