Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize