I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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