If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize