She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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