Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
