They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
