I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
