your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
