you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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