And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
