Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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