I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize