i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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