why do cheetos always look like penises
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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