we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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