you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
