Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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