I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize