You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I want is dick and wine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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