Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
