i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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