Are we in a gay sports bar?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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