Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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