we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
