Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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