she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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