why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize