Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
