Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
