Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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