your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize