the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
