i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
