she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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