Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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