Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
