One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
