I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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