Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
