we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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