Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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