Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize