Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I need water and some morals
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
