I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
