You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
