after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
