I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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