for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
