Say something about gay babies.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
