I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
