woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
