I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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