I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you never un-have a 4some
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
